Some Kinds Of Lies

Do you ever realize something about yourself?

Sometimes it is a good thing... but what if it is bad?

I had a manager tell me, "never miss an opportunity to make yourself a better person," and I really have taken it to heart.

I am listening to people a lot more than I used to, and in a different way.

But, until recently... I don't know if I have heard people.

Les told me that I need to be more careful how I reply to people, because they may say one thing, but be thinking something else, and feeling something different.

Now, it's not that I have never thought or heard of telling lies... or putting on a face... or whatever. I just never really noticed that everyone does it... and could be doing it at any time. The thought never really crossed my mind that when someone said that they were happy for me, they might be thinking that they are jealous of me, and feeling insecure and/or sub par.

So now when you talk, I am going to hear what you are saying, and try to hear how you're thinking, and be a little more considerate of what you're feeling when I reply.

But it goes beyond that.

I have spent so much of my life stressed because of the people around me making decisions that I don't agree with. I have spent so much of my life consulting other people for their opinions on my decision, taking everyone's advice into consideration, worrying about who will think what when I do something... weighing pros and cons of everything... that when someone else makes their decisions by the seat of their pants I get heated.

Maybe even jealous.

It's not that I care what others think, exactly. It's that I know that others have been through experiences in life that I haven't, and so they would approach my problem from a new and different angle. And when you look at things from all sides, obviously you get a better picture... right?

But I really should respect that some people aren't interested in seeing that third dimension. Some people want to see how their view plays out. They want to make mistakes so they will try things differently next time.

And what I really should respect is that there are some people that I just will never understand.

There will be times when people lie to me and I will never even know it. I shudder at the thought... but it is true. People will say they are fine and they are not fine... they just don't want my help and telling me that would be mean. People will stick up for their boyfriend even though inside they're completely hurt.... but they want me to respect their relationship, and their choices.

They want me to shut up and butt out!! That needs to not hurt my feelings!!

Some kinds of lies are OK.