Dear Santa,

I've been working my butt off this year!!

Where's the love?!

Love, Stacy

Heartbreak

Recently I have gone through some terrible struggles with my friendships. My heart is broken, and at any given moment I am liable to burst into tears. That is probably one of the most cliche things I have ever said on this blog, but it is fact. I feel completely broken. The only thing holding me together right now is my husband.

In my car, there is a bag full of gifts for the holidays. I haven't wrapped them yet. There are also a couple stashed around my house. Some of these gifts are to be given to the people who used to be the very best of my friends... including children.

I downloaded all my instagram pictures today and deleted my instagram account because of the change in their policy that is going to allow them to sell users' images... and the photos brought me to tears. What we had was something I thought would withstand everything.

Everything.

And now it is all gone.

People keep saying "don't worry, things will work out," but they don't know what is going on. They don't know the problem... because I respect these people, even though I am a wreck and I don't owe them any favors... I still love them. There is a reason it hurts so badly... my love is not something that is temporary. My love can't be stopped because of the actions of a third party. The feeling I have can't be removed... it can only be changed... moved... or maybe reorganized.

I can't change what happened. I can't change how much pain I feel. I don't know how to move on or where to put these emotions. I'm assuming this is part of growing up, and that these friends likely feel the same way. I'm understanding that they are likely hurting every bit as bad as I am and haven't much of an outlet for these feelings either. But maybe they aren't... I am not in their hearts or minds.

When we grow, when our minds grow, it's like we look back and shake our heads. "How could i have not seen that before?"

The only way I can comfort myself is knowing that I did not know what I do now. I didn't feel these feelings then. If I ever did they were never this strong because circumstances were never exactly the way they are right now.

When our minds grow... we lose things and realize maybe we never really had them. We gain things and realize maybe we had them all along.

We realize that just because a person can change doesn't mean they will. Just because a person promises something doesn't make it the truth. Just because a person wants something doesn't mean they'll even try to achieve it.

I am shaking my head as my tears get caught up in my lashes and reach my cheeks cold.

I want to write about so many different things right now but that will disrespect these people who I think still love me but our love is now forbidden... so I am going to end this blog with this:

Better Than Sex Cookies

So, this year for xmas, I'm giving out some cookies.

Not just ANY cookies. Cookies I made!! :)

Today I am going to share a recipe with you. The recipe is for "BTS Cookies," (which stands for better than SHOES obviously... ok maybe S is for something else.)

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Let's do this cookie thing.

For this recipe, you will need:

1 Cup Butter, softened
1 Cup Sugar
1 Cup Packed Light Brown Sugar

2 Eggs
2 Tsp. Vanilla

2½ Cups of Flour
1tsp Baking Soda
1 tsp Baking Powder
Pinch of Salt

2⅔ Cups Coconut Flakes
1½ Cups Assorted Chips   (milk chocolate, butterscotch, white chocolate, peanut butter... you choose)

Not Pictured: Eggs, Vanilla, Salt.

Did I mention these are like the sugariest mother effing cookies you will ever eat? :)

I am not personally partial to any brands. I buy whatever is the best deal at the store I'm shopping at.


Moving on. First step:  Cream butter & sugars together in a large bowl. (You want one larger than mine.. I had a hard time at the end of the mixing.)

Then, add your eggs and vanilla.

It should start to look kind of like cookie dough.


At this point, you may need to shoo your dog out of the kitchen...  He shouldn't be begging like that!

Next Step: Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, & salt in another bowl.

Be careful pouring the flour... it can create a disaster.

Slowly add this mixture to your cookie dough.

Step 3:
Add your coconut and your chips!

Wow. Awesome cookie dough in 3 steps!!! Eat some!!

OK now the cooking part.

You're just gonna want to make little balls and put them on a cookie sheet. For BEST results, put parchment paper between your dough and your cookie sheet. SO much easier, trust me.

If your a perfectionist, don't put them as close together as I did. I don't mind if they stick together a little. They come apart easy when they are cooled off. (Lift hot cookies on parchment paper onto wire cooling racks. Separate when cool.)

Bake your cookies at 350 for about 13 minutes. (Anywhere from 12-15). If your oven runs hot, check at 11 minutes. 

That is what almost done looks like. I left them in for literally one more minute, then pulled them out. 

PERFECTION.

I hope you enjoy!! <3 <3 <3

You might just be getting some for xmas, if you know me!!!

Social Media Is A Game.

Social media is a game.

It is definitely a new(er) type of game. It hasn’t been around that long. Let me explain the rules & gameplay.


Gameplay:
First, you sign up for an account... usually reluctantly. Your thoughts are something like “oh I won’t like this as much as everyone else seems to, but they all want me to do it... and if I don’t I won’t be up-to-date on what’s going on with everybody.”
Next, you upload a profile photo. You pick one that makes you look your very best, because it is going to be seen by everyone. Everyone, ever.
After that, you edit your profile. You write your about me section, trying to be clever and sum yourself up in a few sentences. You tell the media site where you live, what you like, decide if you want to share your birthday... yada yada.
Then, you post something, just to see how it feels. Something like this: “Hey, trying out this website. Everyone seems to use it, gonna see what all the fuss is about. Add me if you want.”
Search for friends
Add friends, friends add you, friends suggest friends... it’s not long before you’re networked.
Read their posts.
Look at their photos.
At some point, maybe later that day or maybe the next day, you get the idea about the kinds of things that are posted, and you think of something clever to say: “Made pizza eggs today! Got the idea from the show Weeds.” People “like” your post, a few people comment it. You get excited. Write back to them. It’s like... you have an audience.
Read their posts. Now, this is where gameplay gets tricky. Everyone is posting either the best things about their lives, or the worst. The people who say things like, “Just got off the plane! I am in PARIS, baby!!” start to get to you.
You feel... insignificant. Lame.
You feel like maybe your pizza eggs aren’t very interesting... seeing how this person who is in Paris has 23 likes and 67 comments.
You post, “Feeling like I haven’t accomplished shit today. So lazy,” and you get six or seven likes... a couple of replies, “omg me too! so lazy!” -friend who is always online, “Get up & get busy, kid!” -relative who is always online, “Man, I accomplished so much today! I’m exhausted,” -random person you don’t know very well.

The cycle goes on. You try to share cool stuff that your friends will praise you for. You comment your friends stuff. You show people, “omg look on (ex)’s page.. she is totally (conceited comment).”  You get in arguments with people who say things you don’t like.
Sometimes you get wrapped up in the drama.
Sometimes you sit back and laugh at the drama.

Rules:
1. Always make the last comment
2. If you can’t, or don’t want to, at least “like” what the person said.
3. Only update your pic when you get another really good one so you look your best.
4. Feel jealous at least once a week reading posts.
5. When losing an argument, either step off, or start correcting the other person’s grammar.
6. Share relatable images.
7. Be choosy about what you click “like” on, because even if you “like” it in real life, your (professional connection) might not care to know that. Or, you might not want your (family member) to see it.

8. “Quit” the site at least once per year. Everyone knows you’ll be back, but it is really good for your health.

Optional:
a. Capitalize Each Letter In Your Sentence Because (wait... why do people do that?)
b. spel bad so if nuthin ells people will coment to tell u that u rite bad.
c. Comment with words that may provoke anger, for example, you're my bitch and you have no life because you read my blog. This is called trolling and will definitely start or add to the flame war.
d. Try your hardest to make others jealous by posting about EVERYTHING amazing and never posting anything bad.
e. Edit pictures with canned effects with apps on your phone.
f. Update people 7+ times per day about stupid stuff. When they comment, don't reply. Because by the time they comment you don't even care about what you posted about anymore.
g. Spend too long on the site when you should be doing other things.

Have fun & play fair!

Holiday Tree

This is in response to a forward that goes around this season, here is one version of it:

Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as “Holiday Trees” for the first time thisyear which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. I think it applies just as much to many countries as it does to America . . .The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by h

im on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.

My confession:

I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, “Merry Christmas” to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crib, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to.

In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her: “How could God let something like this happen?” (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said: “I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?”

In light of recent events... terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbour as yourself. And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.

Are you laughing yet?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

Pass it on if you think it has merit.

If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in.

My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully,

Ben Stein

First of all: not all of this is actually Ben Stein.

-----------------

My Reply:

Holiday Tree:
I don't think calling it a "Holiday" tree makes our country sound Atheist. (Although... what is wrong with being Atheist?) I think it makes our country sound diverse. However, personally I also think it should be called whatever the family who lives in the white house calls it. Then there is freedom for each future president to call it whatever it is that they celebrate.

Christmahaunakwanzika? Winter solstice? New years? Whatever!

Because our country is building itself on freedom and democracy. We should be able to vote even an Atheist president in without batting an eye. We aren't a Christian country. We are a free country, with separation of church and state.

Bible in Schools:
We don't teach the bible in our schools because of this separation, because the citizens of our country have the freedom to choose their religion. Children are still their own people. They are impressionable. What they learn about religion should be brought to them by their families, not our schools. After all, would you want to send your child to a public school who taught a religion different than your own? A Wicca school maybe? Or a Buddhist one? (Assuming, wrongfully, that you are neither of these... haha). Children who come from those homes should not be sent to a school that teaches Christianity, either.

Your children can learn about their religion at home and at church.

What do parents teach their kids anymore, anyway? How to be a pansy?

This of course, in response to "we reap what we sow."

Yes, we do reap what we sow.  But I don't think it has to do with not teaching the bible, specifically.

The bible does help. Its stories are violent, harsh, and scary. Its laws, punishments, and lessons are powerful, though often extreme and outdated.

Violent Kids:
Kids aren't not learning right from wrong because of worshiping celebrities, calling their tree a "holiday tree," or not being taught religion. It's not because no one spanks their kids anymore.

Kids aren't blowing each other up or growing up sadistic because of those things. Children NEED to be taught the consequences of violence. No I am not saying they need to be BEAT, necessarily. But have you really looked at kids stories these days? Have you parents watched the kids shows and movies lately?

Many moms have decided to pre-watch things and pre-read things for their kids... they are watching out for violence.

DEAR JESUS don't you dare let them watch Spider Man or Power Rangers or God forbid Ninja Turtles!

Do you remember the shit we watched as kids?

The good guys always kicked the ass of the bad guys. There were bad people who literally were just plain bad. Sure it isn't a complex dichotomy... but jeeze...

Do they even MAKE bad guys anymore????


The bible has stories where whole populations are burned to death as punishment.
Tom and Jerry used to obliterate each other.

Simba's father DIES because Scar kills him.

Ursula steals peoples souls and keeps them in a cove.

Car Face tries to kill Charlie.

Shredder is always doing terrible things.

The "bad" guy on despicable me... the one the whole movie is about... he tries to steal the moon. Really? AND on top of that we are on his side.

There is no bad on Regular Show except maybe Authority because they don't adhere to any rules...

The "bad" lady on Madagascar... that was a little gruesome, but she was portrayed as bad for wanting to kill wild animals running about.

Two things can come of this generation we are sowing:

1. Adults who do not know the consequences of violence and thus do not fear it.
2. Adults who do not know the consequences of violence and thus fear it tenfold.

Neither option would know how to react in case of violence. FREAK OUT or allow it.

That's just my opinion.

Celebrities:
Oh, and no one who is anyone gives a shit about celebrities. If they do, just be glad they are worrying about that and not in charge of anything super important.



Conclusion:
So though this fwd tried to send some sort of message about Christmas and stuff... I interpret it differently. I don't disagree  but I see so much more.