Some Kinds Of Lies

Do you ever realize something about yourself?

Sometimes it is a good thing... but what if it is bad?

I had a manager tell me, "never miss an opportunity to make yourself a better person," and I really have taken it to heart.

I am listening to people a lot more than I used to, and in a different way.

But, until recently... I don't know if I have heard people.

Les told me that I need to be more careful how I reply to people, because they may say one thing, but be thinking something else, and feeling something different.

Now, it's not that I have never thought or heard of telling lies... or putting on a face... or whatever. I just never really noticed that everyone does it... and could be doing it at any time. The thought never really crossed my mind that when someone said that they were happy for me, they might be thinking that they are jealous of me, and feeling insecure and/or sub par.

So now when you talk, I am going to hear what you are saying, and try to hear how you're thinking, and be a little more considerate of what you're feeling when I reply.

But it goes beyond that.

I have spent so much of my life stressed because of the people around me making decisions that I don't agree with. I have spent so much of my life consulting other people for their opinions on my decision, taking everyone's advice into consideration, worrying about who will think what when I do something... weighing pros and cons of everything... that when someone else makes their decisions by the seat of their pants I get heated.

Maybe even jealous.

It's not that I care what others think, exactly. It's that I know that others have been through experiences in life that I haven't, and so they would approach my problem from a new and different angle. And when you look at things from all sides, obviously you get a better picture... right?

But I really should respect that some people aren't interested in seeing that third dimension. Some people want to see how their view plays out. They want to make mistakes so they will try things differently next time.

And what I really should respect is that there are some people that I just will never understand.

There will be times when people lie to me and I will never even know it. I shudder at the thought... but it is true. People will say they are fine and they are not fine... they just don't want my help and telling me that would be mean. People will stick up for their boyfriend even though inside they're completely hurt.... but they want me to respect their relationship, and their choices.

They want me to shut up and butt out!! That needs to not hurt my feelings!!

Some kinds of lies are OK.

Tales From The Deli

I currently work in a deli. It pays (most of) my bills. And though some days it drives me crazy, I am learning tons about work-life, retailing, business, and more. 

But enough of the boring stuff. Let me tell you a story. Disclaimer- I am not making fun of customers! I am simply retelling a tale. If you find it hilarious, so be it! 

At times, customers can be frustrating. I understand, though. Anyone walking around a large department store for more than 5 minutes can turn into a little bit of a zombie. I dread shopping at times. Well, "needs" shopping. I love to "want" shop. But that's a whole different blog post.

So anyway, a typical scenario at the deli counter is like this:

Worker (W): Hi! How are you today?
Customer (C): Fine, thanks. I am looking for some turkey.
W: Oven roasted?
C: Yes.
W: Which brand? I have X, Y, and Z.
C: Oh! Um, I'll try X.
W: Alright (gets out X), how much would you like? (unwraps X)
C: Oh, about a pound. Give or take.
W: OK! (puts meat chub on slicer, sets a common thickness, shows slice to customer) How does this slice look, do you need it thinner or thicker than that at all?
C: That looks perfect, thanks.
W: Great! Would you like a sample? (holds slice out) (customer shakes head) Ok! (slices up a pound, puts it on scale. Scale reads 1.0543lbs)

C: Close enough!
W: I hope so! (smiles) Anything else today?
C: Nope this will do it!
W: Okay! Have a great day!!

Now, there are many variations of this scenario. The customer could have not been sure which brand they wanted, and requests to taste a few... customer may change their mind and ask for a just a half pound of turkey and a half pound of ham... customer may have wanted me to explain the specials... etc.

But occasionally in Sequim, things get a little bit different. Many of my customers are elderly. This is just a fact. Sequim is a retirement city. So occasionally, I will get a customer who is hard of hearing.

Now, when I told my dad this story, he interrupted me. He said, "You have to understand, those who have a hard time hearing are just as frustrated as you are!! They may even be more frustrated."

To which I replied, "But no, no. You don't understand. I play it off well. Usually, they think they just had a perfect interaction, even if the conversation made no sense."

And so the tale begins:

W: Hi! How are you doing today?
C: I'll have three quarter pound of the ham.
W: Which ham?
C: Yes. Thank you.
W: .... (picks out a cheap ham and holds it up)
C: ... (nods, smiling)
W: OK and how thick do you like your slices?
C: three quarter pound. A little over is OK.
W: ...(puts chub on slicer, cuts common thickness) Does this thickness look OK?
C: (Reaches out as if to feel how thick slice is) THANKS!!! (snatches it, and eats it)
W: ....(slices 3/4lb and weighs it)
C: Perfect!
W:  Do you need anything else today?
C: Yes. Thank you. (Walks away).

Now, my dad happened to find this absolutely hilarious. I at the time found it frustrating, but after looking at it from the side, it is pretty funny! After all, the customer got what he/she wanted, and as far as they know I had no problems giving it to them. But it takes a lot of patience and guesswork in the moment! 

Anyway, Dad told me this would be a great skit. I told him I'd write it down. Where else?? Of course I'll share it with my blog readers! 

Hope everyone is well. <3