A Dream Come True

Yep. A dream come true... that's the title to this blog.

Today, I got my graduation present, and this is quite honestly the very first picture I took with it:

I still have the first picture I took with my d40x... and now here I am with my new d7000, the camera I have been drooling over for years.

So I need to get some practice in, but I am the most excited I have been probably ever. I am graduating, surrounded by people I love and who love me, and I have the camera of my dreams!!

And the icing on the cake:

Les and I are getting married in September!!!

Exposure Leak Photography

Now all I need is to get a job and move out of my parents place! :) Haha I say that like its simple. Hmm... let's make it simple!!

<3 <3 <3 A dream is a wish your heart makes, and dreams can come true. So dream, and wish, that Les and I are able to find some good solid income sources and get our family (us and our pets) a nice house before our wedding!! We can make it happen, I know it!!

A Deep Breath - finishing school.

I am about to write my final college assignment. At least, my final one for now. I am not saying I'm never going back to school, but it will be a while... like... probably years and years.

Seventeen years of school, and it all leads up to this.


I might cry. The only people who come close to feeling what a big deal this is to me might be my parents. Yes, other people graduate, and everyone in theory feels this emotion... but I feel that it is probably different for everyone, if only slightly. From now on,  pretty much everything I write will go to either a publisher, a blog, client, associate, or boss. Teacher, professor... crossed off the list. I can write my novel!! I can open my studio!! I can work and support my fiance!!
I can get married!

A deep breath. I need to take a deep breath, and write this last paper.. and then, I need to celebrate!!!!

I am glad to have some followers on my blog. I have been writing these things since I was around 15, and I have never felt more supported. Please check a box, and leave me a comment so I know you are still around, and you still read me loud and clear! These blogs are bound to continue to be fun, and possibly get funner.*


*(History proves that the more the public uses a word, the more likely it is to make it in the dictionary eventually.... let's keep using "funner" because I like it. K thanks.)

SMASH

Ok so I am in the middle of a billion papers. I think if I turn in one per day until they are all done, I'll be good.

But, I have a new obsession that is holding my sanity. I haven't really talked to anyone about my new obsession. Les knows, because he watched it happen. It started with a trailer that annoyed me. It frustrated me because I felt like it was trying to take Glee's place. I felt like it was going to be cheesy.

Then I had a couple of people, at separate times, ask me - "have you watched Smash?" Then proceed to tell me how amazing it is. Well I can't ignore my friends. They have great taste. (Yes, that probably means you.)

So I watched the first episode on Hulu. Then the second. Then the third....

Now I have to figure it out. I guess each time I turn in a paper, I should allow myself an episode. But I can't ever watch just one. I need to space them out though, so that at the end I have several to watch and celebrate, because not only will I be done with my papers... but I will be caught up on Smash.

Anyway, I guess the point of me putting this obsession out there is to tell you how amazing this show really is... and to ask: is anybody who reads my blog as crazy about this as I am?

And Katherine McPhee is so hot!!! How wonderful that an American Idol runner-up is a hot, incredibly talented actor and singer on a hit TV show. Good for her, right?!

OK I will stop rambling. Somebody tell me they love this show! And somebody go watch if for YOUR first time!!

For Me

I want to write for me.

So badly.

And I want to read for me.

And plan my wedding.

And stop fuckingfreakingoutabouteverything.

ADD

I have self-diagnosed myself with ADD. Now, a lot of people say they have it, and I am not denying it for them (because who am I? A doctor?) but I would like to insist that not all of them know wtf they are talking about. First of all, there's a difference between ADD and ADHD. Mainly bursts of hyperactivity. I'm not going to go into detail about that... or about ADD at all, really. That takes time, effort, and will bore the shit out of you. (If you're anything like me... who's had to re-start research on it countless times). I'm going to tell you specifically how it affects my life.


If you are a follower of mine, you have undoubtedly noticed that I list things, constantly. It helps me get the things buzzing around in my head to at least stand in line. (Though I would rather they line up from tallest to shortest, if you know what I mean.... sometimes they do line up that way... anyway back to the point) Sometimes my lists are very specific, down to what I need to do in each room of the house... or what I need to buy in each department of each store... or worse - both. I wonder if this might be a little OCD. I'm not really sure... remember, I'm not a doctor. But my lists sometimes can look like FLOW CHARTS if I'm not careful. Those don't usually  For example (goes and makes a list of current tasks):

...sigh
That feels good. See? This stuff is generally ALL buzzing around my head, because once you get one list tackled* another one just shows up. You know? And this doesn't even count the other things I have to do, like the people I have to call, the yard work, cleaning my car out, feeding the animals every day, and of course blogging here, there, and everywhere. ( http://einthecorgi.tumblr.com ) <- shameless plug for my puppy's blog, which I write... duh.

*note that getting a list tackled means something a little unexpected. I.e. I always wind up saying something like:

WOW! That was a LOT of hard work... and I'm not even freaking done yet!!! 

and following that with sitting at the computer.

For example.. I just said that when I "cleaned my bedroom"... there are hardly any articles of clothing in my dresser... they are all in piles and baskets AROUND the dresser, in a very organized state of Clean and Not Clean.


And earlier when I "did the dishes" ...there are still about 10 things of silverware, a bowl, a tupperware lid... ummm I think that's all, not sure.

My desk remains unsightly, though I thought I cleaned the living room.

Oh, and of course, I wrote a to-do list that doesn't have everything I need to do on it.

Basically, things are never finished... and I've already started the next list. And it REALLY does constantly bother me in the back of my mind. (Shit, I just realized I forgot "clean the litterbox" in my to do list). What was I talking about?

....

If I get more sleep, and take caffiene supplements, and eat more green vegetables, and get a good work out every day or two, I do a lot better. But just thinking of how much work that is makes me want to write another list about it.


Ok. So that's me. That's why I get to say I'm ADD. And I didn't even mention the Mike's I'm drinking, the Jimmy Eat World playing, or the side conversation I am having with my fiance... until now haha. :) 

Inhale, then "outhale" ...advice from the internet.

(this was found on the internet... it isn't my image or my friends or my drawing etc.)

This quarter has been stressful, but great. I have done so much writing, I just can't wait to get out into the world and experience it so I have some more things to write about. Because although my dog is SUPER adorable:

he probably isn't the only thing you want me to blog about for the rest of forever. So I have applied for a job. I am not guarenteed to get this job by any means. It is the first of many applications to send off to employers. However, I really hope I get a job like this one, even if it isn't this one exactly. 

I feel like if I say much more about it, I will jinx it, so I am going to leave the job subject alone! :)

Chibi trading card.

I am moving back to Sequim! In case you missed that news. Oh, and I have big plans. I plan to go back to making every day an adventure. I got so caught up in school this quarter that I forgot that's what matters! For example, maybe some artistic adventures. That chibi is Yotsoba. I drew her for Gerrod because he saw my other chibi and wanted her to be Yotsoba and to be near a 4-leaf clover. 

(other chibi trading card)

I told him I'd make him a Yotsoba but he has to make me a chibi card to trade, because thats the rules of this game I just invented. So if you want to trade some chibis get a hold of me :) haha! As far as artistic adventures, I'm really hoping to put together a zine, too. I'm hoping for an anonymous outlet, like post secret, but local. I'll put a call for submissions in some local places, then scan them into a PDF and run off copies to put in coffee shops and stuff. I also will have them available digitally, possibly in dead drops. Still thinking this through. If you'd like to work with me on this I'd be more than happy to get help! :)

I am also planning on real outdoor adventures!! 

(Photo from a real outdoor adventure)

You know, the type where we go outside and use our muscles?! The kind where we see wildlife, and even our lungs burn calories in the morning air?! Now THAT is an adventure. I've put together a group on facebook called "adventure team" and we will be getting in our exercise however we are able, but I'm hoping many come with me on adventures! If I have learned anything from bootcamp, it is that the support we provide each other is the best support out there! So I am hoping to have that kind of community when I get back home.

I love you team 41! :) I'll miss you!

(photo from an outdoor adventure with 41 sports)

I am hoping for adventures in babysitting for my two best friends who are having babies! And also for great adventures in photography, always... every day... because my camera strap is always looped around my heart. Sure, that sounds cheesy, but this is a blog. I am allowed to get cheesy.

Say CHEESE!

On top of that, I have a wedding coming up! Yes indeed, my AMAZING fiance and I are saying I DO in September! We've planned it all out to be steampunk, with some modern influences, and I am SO EXCITED I can't help but wiggle every time I think about it and say, "Les!! LES!! Hey Les!!"

"What?"

"WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!!"

:)

SO in short, look forward to MUCH more blogging about adventures far more fun than homework. Look forward to seeing me smiling, eating healthy, running on the beach with my dog, and throwing parties!! Look forward to more weightloss, look forward to my wedding... look FORWARD!! 

Because looking back just doesn't freaking solve anything!!

(This is now advice you have found on the internet.)

Oh. And don't forget to... um.. "outhale."

Location, location, location... silly ramblings. Cuz I need to free write.

I found an old blog I used to keep.

It got me thinking... to have found it, that means I had lost it. Right? Maybe not, but still. Or I was lost from it. Like it was an old house.

There is a lot of talk about internet citizenship, who you are on the web, and internet "real estate." We go to web addresses and keep our faces in a book. We keep web logs, or "blogs," which seems like such an interesting thing to call it, now that I think about it.

We bloggers, we say "I have a blog online," the more professional or experienced tell you what they blog on, perhaps sewing, or cooking, or photography. Perhaps their daily life, their cats. Basically, we are saying "I keep a log about ___ on the web. You should read it."

What if we kept these logs in books? Some of us still keep diaries, but those are private. "Log" seems like either something scientific, like recording how often your cat snores while he is sleeping, or a broken tree.

Anyway, so blogging... public logs... telling people "come read my stuff"  ...what does that say?

Or when we post something on a social networking site and practically pray for comments. Feedback. Support.

Validation.

I found an old blog I used to keep. I found it, and I read some thoughts I used to have. I realize I have made similar mistakes, and new ones. I realized that I probably forget most things immediately after I write them, because how could I remember all that???

I have years of blogs. I have kept one (sporadically) since about 2005. In the days of tblog. Livejournal. In the days when blogging was basically a community. It was bloggers who read each others' blogs. We poured over people and their mundaneness and spouted our opinions in their comment sections.

We bounced in our chairs with excitement when xXzGiRLxOfxFirE_777 told us that every single word of our blog was amazing. When hatefedlove told us our poems were deep. When smiles6are6lies6 posted a new blog and mentioned you.

When ixamxaxzebra made you a sign.


When you made them a sign back and they left you comments and you felt like you had a secret life.


I found an old blog I used to keep. I found it and I remembered all this and now my friends, my family, and more, read my blog.

It is a TOTALLY different dynamic.

It's not even all people who actually write blogs who read them. In fact, there are literally famous blogs and bloggers who have books at barns and noble (I love you oatmeal) and that will have books soon (hyperbole, we miss you!) and I WANT TO WRITE A BOOK.


There. I said it. I want to write a book. A novel.

I don't want to be that person who is like 'blah blah blah working on my novel'

but that's who I am. Because I am a blogger? Maybe. Because I grew up on the web? Maybe.

I am an internet citizen, and a writer. I have done hard time for web crime (and by that i mean i cyberbullied and got my computer taken away). I take pictures while thinking of what people will think about when they see them online not on walls. Is that weird?

Is blogging weird? 


Yep.

Do I care??

HELL NO!!! I LOVE IT!!